he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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