I got chris browned last night
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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