The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
