True but thats because hes a fetus.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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