I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
