i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
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I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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