I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
