you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
