If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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