Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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