Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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