i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
