She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
