TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
