I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
