like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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