not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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