I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
