Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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