I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
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Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
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Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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