Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
