its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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