I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
