I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
