Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
