i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
bring money and cleavage
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
