i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
