Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
