Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Randomize
