hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
