Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
