A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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