I didn't shave. On purpose
North Korea, Best Korea!
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
