New low: just hacked my moms facebook
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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