the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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