i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
she peed on how many people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize