i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
