dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
i know! what is this dateline?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I AM VODKA MAN
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies