I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...