im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
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they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
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I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.