Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
