They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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