I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
