so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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