you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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