i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
