Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
