sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
