just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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