Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
