Sponge bath it is.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
