wanna go halves on a baby?
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
