If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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