His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
