Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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