i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
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I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
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You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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