just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You can't just leave with hair like that
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
