So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
