omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
