umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
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Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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