4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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