it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
